My heart beats like a drum, a guitar stringed to the strum

Dear Plain White T's,

Why do we only have tonight? What happens tomorrow? Are you leaving the country? Is the world going to be hit by an asteroid? Is your long-term girlfriend coming back from vacation? Don't get me wrong, your song is catchy, but if you ain't in it for the long run, I ain't the girl for you.

Love,
Kenz

It's astounding how you live so close to your cure

Dear Inside Thoughts,

You're called "inside thoughts" for a reason. Stay inside next time, so I won't spend the rest of the day agonizing about whether or not I offended or angered the person I said you to.

Love,
Kenz

I'm only happy when it rains

Dear Girls on My Floor,

Yes, there's a thunderstorm happening. How incredibly observant of you. However, this does not mean you have to shriek like banshees every time lightening strikes. That's just unnecessary.

Love,
Kenz

I want someone provocative and talkative

Dear Five Pounds I've Somehow Gained in the Past Month,

Don't get too comfortable. I am making it my goal to get back down to the size I was in high school. I WILL wear my senior prom dress to the SAI Formal, and I WILL look hot as hell. I bought a new workout DVD over the weekend. Consider this your eviction notice.

Love,
Kenz

There's no place like

Dear Home,

Ever since I left you to go to college, I haven't spent more than three weeks at a time living in you. But now that I only see you about once a month, I'm always excited to come back to you. Even today, when I'm back just for a weekend and none of my home friends are home, I've been the happiest and most serene that I've been in ages. Thank you for always being there for me when I need some familiarity.

Love,
Kenz

Sometimes I wish I'd never known just how brilliantly you shown

Dear Modcloth Designers,

I'm onto you. I know what you're doing...designing ridiculously pricey, ridiculously adorable dresses that you KNOW are just my style, and putting them in Facebooks ads to lure me in. You KNOW I'll click on your ad, and you KNOW that I have neither money nor an occasion to wear any of your gorgeous creations. But you also know that someday, if I suddenly obtain a large sum of money, you will be my first splurge. In the meantime, could you maybe get a little more affordable?

Love,
Kenz

We went from cathedral bells to show-and-tells and wish-you-wells

Dear Music History Professor,

Putting an exclamation point at the end of every sentence on the research project outline won't make me any more excited to do this research project.

i.e. "Choose one of the following Mozart concertos for this project! (You need to find a musical score & recording of the concerto you chose to study-- either online or on Reserve in the Library!)"

"Use the listening guides in the NAWM as a stylistic guide!"

"Your project is due in class on Monday, February 14!!!"

...sorry Wendy, you're just too enthusiastic for me. I finished my research project, but I had to sacrifice a lot of sleep to do so. Don't expect me to match your peppiness tomorrow. Or ever.

Love,
Kenz

You've got terrible vision if you don't see that I'm in love with you

Dear Mean Girls,

No matter how many times I see you, I can't get over how fantastic you are. Thanks so much for being on TBS when I went to the gym tonight, it made that hour long work out fly by like a bluejay on speed.

Love,
Kenz

With every motion there's an ocean of emotion

Dear Coffee Carafes at the Library Cafe,

Please continue to look like penguins in my strange, imaginative mind. You make my otherwise blase job slightly entertaining. Also, could you maybe learn the can-can?

Love,
Kenz

And if I walk away, please follow me

Dear Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream from the Roost,

Could you either stop being so delicious, or stop being so fattening? I would really appreciate it.

Love, Kenz