Dear Old Myspace Page,
I'm so glad I stumbled upon you a few weeks ago; you're a wonderful reminder of the fact that even though I've always been awesome, my awesomeness has greatly matured over the years. However, one item on my page really surprised and confused me: my relationship status was set to "in a relationship". I have no idea why, or who I was in a relationship with when I abandoned my Myspace roughly four and a half years ago, but I'm going to assume this is why I've been single for the past four years. Guys were probably like "OMG, that Kenzie girl is totes mgotes the awesomest girl I've ever encountered! I'm gonna look her up on Myspace...oh, it says she's in a relationship...no use asking her out, I guess...*sniff*"
Love,
Kenz
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