That's why we only work when we need the money.

Dear Towing Company in downtown Chicago (I'll be nice and keep you anonymous),

I hope you're pleased with yourselves. I was parked in your poorly marked private lot for, at the most, twenty minutes when you decided "Hey, idea: let's steal this chick's car, make her navigate downtown Chicago on foot by herself, and then make her pay $200 to get it back! That sounds reasonable!" My intent was to save money by avoiding meter parking, as I was merely stopping by to drop off some donations at a local homeless shelter. Yeah, you just charged a freaking PHILANTHROPIST! Seriously, how do you all sleep at night, knowing that your job is based on ransom?

Love,
Kenz