Dear One Direction,
Man, you guys really know how to spit the truth. Low self-esteem? SUPER sexy. That explains why I've been single for so long...all this time, I thought confidence and a strong sense of self-worth was the way to go, but clearly I've been doing it wrong. I bet if I start hating myself, the guys will be lining up across the street to holler at this.
And here I thought Beyonce's song was bad for the gender equality movement...
In other words, you might want to go in another direction next time.