Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike.

Dear Beyonce,

There has been a ridiculous amount of engagement rings appearing on the fingers of my peers, friend's friends, Facebook friends, etc. lately. I blame you. Seriously, my generation was totally cool with taking things slow, until your little one-chord wonder "Single Ladies" topped the charts. Suddenly, guys all think that if they like a girl (they don't even have to love her, just LIKE her) then they SHOULD put a ring on it (and that they should refer to their girlfriend as "it", which is extremely derogatory and a step in the totally wrong direction for the gender equality movement). I have a good amount of respect for you as a person and as a performer, but you really need to think about the message behind your lyrics (no matter how sick the beat is). In conclusion, next time you run into your ex at a club after you just broke up, and he sees you all up on another brother, just don't pay him any attention!

Love,
Kenz

P.S. Gentlemen, in all seriousness, don't make a huge life decision based on what you heard in a song with one chord, no matter how many non-consecutive weeks that song spent as the number-one single. You've got time, rings are expensive, and the right girl will wait (says the single lady).

P.P.S. Everyone, in all seriousness...please don't take this post too seriously! I'm not trying to hate on engaged people, or criticize anyone's choices. If you're happily engaged or married, good for you! I wish you all the best.