Dear Pleather Jacket,
Thank you for being you. Seriously, wearing you makes everything better. When I awoke this morning, I had a feeling it would be a bad day; then I put you on, and I had a badass day instead. True story. It's like I'm telling the world, "I'm a rebel, because I care about animals".
Love,
Kenz
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I won't let you close enough to hurt me.
Dear American Education System,
Has anyone ever told you that the term "learning disability" is extremely derogatory? Basically, you're telling people that they're unable to learn if they don't fit the mold you've created. Has it ever crossed your mind that perhaps some people just learn differently? I was diagnosed with a "learning disability" in grade school, but I am in no way unable to learn; I just do better when I'm more physically and emotionally engaged in the classroom, instead of just sitting through a ninety minute lecture and trying to memorize millions of facts, dates, and equations that mean nothing to me. And I know I'm not alone: according to the National Institute of Literacy, 30-50% of the U.S. population has undiagnosed learning disabilities. Maybe you need to adjust your standards, or at least give this particular exceptionality a more PC name. How about "learning difference"? Or hey, how about "human"?
Love,
Kenz
P.S. I'm aware that the American Education System isn't perfect, but I refuse to use that as an excuse not to go into the field of education. I just can't walk away from an institution that clearly needs compassionate, driven, and hard-working people to better serve the needs of its students. You can bet that when I'm a teacher, I won't be diagnosing any of my students with "learning disabilities".
P.P.S. On a completely unrelated note, I now have a Facebook fan page. Y'all should chiggity check it out. Just do a search for "Love, Kenz" and it'll pop up.
Has anyone ever told you that the term "learning disability" is extremely derogatory? Basically, you're telling people that they're unable to learn if they don't fit the mold you've created. Has it ever crossed your mind that perhaps some people just learn differently? I was diagnosed with a "learning disability" in grade school, but I am in no way unable to learn; I just do better when I'm more physically and emotionally engaged in the classroom, instead of just sitting through a ninety minute lecture and trying to memorize millions of facts, dates, and equations that mean nothing to me. And I know I'm not alone: according to the National Institute of Literacy, 30-50% of the U.S. population has undiagnosed learning disabilities. Maybe you need to adjust your standards, or at least give this particular exceptionality a more PC name. How about "learning difference"? Or hey, how about "human"?
Love,
Kenz
P.S. I'm aware that the American Education System isn't perfect, but I refuse to use that as an excuse not to go into the field of education. I just can't walk away from an institution that clearly needs compassionate, driven, and hard-working people to better serve the needs of its students. You can bet that when I'm a teacher, I won't be diagnosing any of my students with "learning disabilities".
P.P.S. On a completely unrelated note, I now have a Facebook fan page. Y'all should chiggity check it out. Just do a search for "Love, Kenz" and it'll pop up.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Darn that one track mind of mine.
Dear Birds (again...I've got another bone to pick with y'all),
My car's windshield is not a toilet seat. Stop crapping on it. Seriously, this has happened four times in the past two months-once WHILE I was driving, which forced me to turn the windshield wipers on high while frantically spraying water, on a perfectly cloudless day. I'm sure anyone who saw this immediately assumed I was crazy, but it's YOU, birds, who are the crazy ones! Someone needs to toilet train you.
Love,
Kenz
My car's windshield is not a toilet seat. Stop crapping on it. Seriously, this has happened four times in the past two months-once WHILE I was driving, which forced me to turn the windshield wipers on high while frantically spraying water, on a perfectly cloudless day. I'm sure anyone who saw this immediately assumed I was crazy, but it's YOU, birds, who are the crazy ones! Someone needs to toilet train you.
Love,
Kenz
Sunday, August 28, 2011
I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser.
Dear Helicopter Parents,
I've had it up to HERE (pretend I'm holding my arm up as high as I can reach) with your petty questions and snotty comments about how nasty the apartments are and/or how stupid we apartment RAs are. I've seen some pretty nasty apartments in my days, and comparatively speaking, these ones are really not that bad. More importantly, your child is in college (and most likely an upperclassman if they're living in the apartments); let them take care of themselves, ask their own questions, and fight their own battles. We're doing more work than you can imagine to make sure that your little angel has a fun and safe place to live, and we don't appreciate being snapped at for things that are beyond our control. We didn't build these apartments.
Love,
Kenz
P.S. I realize that the helicopter parents will be even worse once I start teaching. I also realize that when I have kids, I will definitely be a helicopter parent myself. However, that's only because my children legitimately will be the most important children ever. Duh.
I've had it up to HERE (pretend I'm holding my arm up as high as I can reach) with your petty questions and snotty comments about how nasty the apartments are and/or how stupid we apartment RAs are. I've seen some pretty nasty apartments in my days, and comparatively speaking, these ones are really not that bad. More importantly, your child is in college (and most likely an upperclassman if they're living in the apartments); let them take care of themselves, ask their own questions, and fight their own battles. We're doing more work than you can imagine to make sure that your little angel has a fun and safe place to live, and we don't appreciate being snapped at for things that are beyond our control. We didn't build these apartments.
Love,
Kenz
P.S. I realize that the helicopter parents will be even worse once I start teaching. I also realize that when I have kids, I will definitely be a helicopter parent myself. However, that's only because my children legitimately will be the most important children ever. Duh.
Monday, July 25, 2011
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Dear Debbie (the eHarmony cat lover),
I'm sure you've been getting a lot of criticism for your video bio, which has somehow leaked itself onto Youtube, not to mention been featured on Fox news...here's my two cents: follow your dreams. I can tell how passionate you are about felines, and if it's truly your dream to hug every cat, go for it! Don't fall prey to the little voice inside your head that tells you this dream is crazy. As Langston Hughes once said:
"Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly."
Debbie, don't you want to fly? Today is your day to spread your wings! I'd recommend starting off small: go door-to-door in your neighborhood, and simply ask, "Excuse me Sir or Madam, do you have a cat? And if so, may I please hug him or her?" Sure, they might give you a weird look at first, but once you explain that you're on a mission to hug every cat, I'm certain they'll oblige. Heck, they might even donate some money towards your cause, which you can use to pay travel costs. Pretty soon, you'll be doing world tours and spreading love to every Felis catus. Who knows, maybe your groundbreaking work will inspire a following of cat huggers worldwide!
I shall close by saying that this type of work is best done in collaboration with people who share your passion and vision. Maybe you can find a guy on eHarmony who loves cats just as much as you do, and he can join you on your journey! Best of luck to you, Debs.
Love,
Kenz
P.S. Congratulations on being my longest post to date.
I'm sure you've been getting a lot of criticism for your video bio, which has somehow leaked itself onto Youtube, not to mention been featured on Fox news...here's my two cents: follow your dreams. I can tell how passionate you are about felines, and if it's truly your dream to hug every cat, go for it! Don't fall prey to the little voice inside your head that tells you this dream is crazy. As Langston Hughes once said:
"Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly."
Debbie, don't you want to fly? Today is your day to spread your wings! I'd recommend starting off small: go door-to-door in your neighborhood, and simply ask, "Excuse me Sir or Madam, do you have a cat? And if so, may I please hug him or her?" Sure, they might give you a weird look at first, but once you explain that you're on a mission to hug every cat, I'm certain they'll oblige. Heck, they might even donate some money towards your cause, which you can use to pay travel costs. Pretty soon, you'll be doing world tours and spreading love to every Felis catus. Who knows, maybe your groundbreaking work will inspire a following of cat huggers worldwide!
I shall close by saying that this type of work is best done in collaboration with people who share your passion and vision. Maybe you can find a guy on eHarmony who loves cats just as much as you do, and he can join you on your journey! Best of luck to you, Debs.
Love,
Kenz
P.S. Congratulations on being my longest post to date.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
For me, it isn't over.
Dear Old Myspace Page,
I'm so glad I stumbled upon you a few weeks ago; you're a wonderful reminder of the fact that even though I've always been awesome, my awesomeness has greatly matured over the years. However, one item on my page really surprised and confused me: my relationship status was set to "in a relationship". I have no idea why, or who I was in a relationship with when I abandoned my Myspace roughly four and a half years ago, but I'm going to assume this is why I've been single for the past four years. Guys were probably like "OMG, that Kenzie girl is totes mgotes the awesomest girl I've ever encountered! I'm gonna look her up on Myspace...oh, it says she's in a relationship...no use asking her out, I guess...*sniff*"
Love,
Kenz
I'm so glad I stumbled upon you a few weeks ago; you're a wonderful reminder of the fact that even though I've always been awesome, my awesomeness has greatly matured over the years. However, one item on my page really surprised and confused me: my relationship status was set to "in a relationship". I have no idea why, or who I was in a relationship with when I abandoned my Myspace roughly four and a half years ago, but I'm going to assume this is why I've been single for the past four years. Guys were probably like "OMG, that Kenzie girl is totes mgotes the awesomest girl I've ever encountered! I'm gonna look her up on Myspace...oh, it says she's in a relationship...no use asking her out, I guess...*sniff*"
Love,
Kenz
Thursday, July 7, 2011
It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out.
Dear Zumba,
Thanks for being invented. Seriously, I have no idea how someone could have conceived such an awesome concept in their mind, but I think you might be my perfect workout. Dancing like an idiot in a room full of other people who are doing the same thing, all the while working core muscle groups and burning calories? Yes please. Clearly we were made for each other.
Love,
Kenz
Thanks for being invented. Seriously, I have no idea how someone could have conceived such an awesome concept in their mind, but I think you might be my perfect workout. Dancing like an idiot in a room full of other people who are doing the same thing, all the while working core muscle groups and burning calories? Yes please. Clearly we were made for each other.
Love,
Kenz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)